In Defense of the Gardening Greenhorn: A Public Plea to the Experts
![]() |
Charlie and Rosie exchanging views on landscape design. |
How time flies! It was almost
exactly six (!) years ago when the good folks at GardenRant allowed me to share my Guest
Rant “No Bad Yards.”
Now I’m back again in defense of all the inexperienced or unlucky gardening
greenhorns out there who suffer the sneers of their gardening betters -- whether
professional or amateur -- if they dare to ask for advice.
First of all, let me say to
you, the educated, the professional, the successful: I get it. You spent years
of school and/or professional work becoming the expert you are, and people
literally pay you to impart your knowledge to them. I see the injustice of strangers
asking you to “give it away for free,” and certainly the nuisance factor this
must involve. As a recent column on GardenRant pointed out, you wouldn’t expect a
dermatologist or a stock broker or a lawyer to just shell out free advice in
the grocery checkout line. Why would you expect free service from a landscape
designer or a horticultural specialist?
OR maybe you are not a
professional, but a highly skilled home gardener, a member in long standing of
your local garden club, a prize-winning grower of roses, with a beautifully
landscaped yard that is the culmination of years of your hard labor. When your
neighbor, whose biggest horticultural success is a window box of marigolds,
asks you how he can make his garden beautiful like yours, you grit your teeth
in what you hope is a tolerant smile and airily respond with “Oh, it’s nothing!”
Or perhaps you go into a lecture on design concepts and lifestyle needs and
“the right plants,” all the while screaming internally, “How the hell do you
think? You think this comes easy? I learned and I WORKED!”
To you all, I say: I
understand. I honor your expertise and your pride in your accomplishments.
But let me advocate for a
little understanding -- and patience -- for those of us who lack your gifts and
skills.
Why do we in the gardening
bush league (ha!) have the chutzpah to ask you for free advice? I suspect it’s
because, in our community, free advice is the norm. Whether it’s our neighbors,
our parents, our friends, or even our Facebook friends, part of the joy we gain
from gardening is the sharing—of wisdom, of solutions, of rabbit deterrents, even
of plants. I think it’s not surprising that, when we encounter an actual expert
in the wild, we are likely to naturally treat you as part of our community and bubble
over with questions, delighted that we have met someone who KNOWS!
I understand this doesn’t
describe everyone. There are, I am sure, plenty of folks out there who want you
to stop whatever you’re doing and give them a simple 1-2-3 solution to
transforming their vacant lot into Kew Gardens, and won’t take no for an
answer. That kind of entitlement doesn’t deserve your attention, and I can
understand responding joyfully with a snarky response that puts them in their place.
As a regular ranter rightfully pointed out, landscape design is much more
complex that most people imagine.
But most of us are
not asking for help in defining outdoor spaces to meet our lifestyle needs. We
don’t have “design intentions.” No, we just want to know what kind of shrub
might look good framing our front door. We don’t need or want a sermon on how
foundation planting is passé or based on outdated needs. We just want a
shrubbery that looks nice. And is not too expensive. (Apologies to Monty
Python.)
This is why I can’t help but rail when I read
columns recounting how the authors have chided and derided us bush leaguers,
usually under the guise of humor. I’ve been called oversensitive and judgmental
for my reactions, but my goal is not to judge but to enlighten. I accept the
explanation that these humor columns are not intended to be mean-spirited. And as a professional editor, I will
always support the authors’ right to write them.
But I would merely ask the authors to think carefully
of the intent of their written pieces, and consider the consequences --
intentional or not – of publicly mocking those who dare to lack your expertise,
whether in writing or in public. Do you think you encourage new gardeners with
your eye-rolling, or do you demoralize them by laughing at their ignorance and
inexperience? Are novices more or less likely to seek out information or
assistance when the gatekeepers of gardening wisdom seem to hold them in
contempt?
If I were a younger, newer gardener myself, some
of these columns would make me consider giving up entirely and leaving the
garden to the professionals. Luckily, I’ve had my real-life mentors to
encourage me all along, and so for almost 20 years, gardening has been my
hobby, my therapy, my joy. I’ve never had professional landscape advice. To a
pro’s eye, I have no idea if my yard is a specimen or an eyesore. But to me,
it’s my little paradise -- ant hills, quack grass, and all. My neighbor’s yard, front and back, is beautifully,
professional designed, landscaped, and maintained—but I honestly would not
trade their showcase for my uneven, weedy, irregular, constantly-under-revision
yard. And I notice that they seem to be out enjoying their space much less
frequently that we do ours.
In conclusion, can’t we all
just be nice to each other? Certainly, you are not obligated to play mentor to
anyone who approaches you, no matter how politely. Still, is it any harder to
respond kindly with an “I’m sorry, I can’t help you, but have you tried [the
Master Gardeners] [the local garden club] [this nice gentleman who works here
at the nursery]; they have great advice on just this subject”? Then afterwards,
you can enjoy a cocktail with a friend and laugh at the woman who can’t grow
zucchini (that would be me) to your heart’s content.
Anyway, now that I’ve had MY
rant, it’s time to pick some mint, make a mojito, and ponder the great mystery
of why I remain incapable of growing zucchini.
Comments
Post a Comment